Three Years Later and it Still Sucks!

I was going to tell you about the day that I lost my mom. I had it all typed up and ready to post. But I changed my mind, I mean I’m glad that I typed it up and got it all out, but do I really need to share the details of the worst day of my life? The short answer is no, I don’t need to go over what happened that day. What I do want to share is that it has been three years and it still sucks! March 2, 2018 was the day that I joined this exclusive club that nobody wants to be a part of.  Losing my mom. She was not perfect by any means, but she was my mom. We had plenty of ups and downs, but she was always there for me and I knew she loved me. She was the person I called when I had a bad day, or needed to know how to cook something. My mom was an amazing cook. I have some messages on my phone from her that I will keep forever, and on one of them she is talking about a recipe that we had been talking about. To this day I wish I could remember what recipe it was. After her passing it took it really hard. I was very depressed and stopped taking my diabetes medication. It wasn’t a good time for me. I ended up seeing a therapist and that was the best thing I could have done. The therapist told me a good way to get through my feeling was to write letters to my mom. So I have a journal that I write to my mom in whenever there is something I want to tell her. It has helped tremendously. The best thing that has helped me was that my youngest grandson Gunner was born on the one-year anniversary of her passing. Now instead of it being a super sad day for me, it is a happy day for me. Don’t get me wrong, I still am sad on that day, just now I have something to celebrate.