Tag: writing

Ain’t That The Shits

amyd2414

In 2022 there was a Facebook post “Everyone has a story about sh*tting their pants. Don’t let them lie to you.”

I reposted it with the caption “People who deny it have a really good story. The comments that were posted did not disappoint. Here are some of those comments….

JJ- Disneyland… 2015…Drop Zone ride. I had to go buy a $120 velour sweatpants suit because that was the only thing in my size at that dang park!

HL- I had eaten Taco Bell and a huge bowl of chili. I was 21 and dumb so I thought nothing of it and was off to go shopping. I made it a few blocks when the sweat chills hit. My sister lived close, so I tried making it up to her apartment when the devil had me by the guts and I exploded by her front door. When her bf came home, he was piiiiiissed and thought someone who hated him did it. I kept the truth to myself.

            MC-I feel you on those sweat chills. It’s like the Grip and there is not enough sphincter tone to pep talk your way through it. I was sitting in the car waiting for my husband at the time to come out of the store. We lived ten minutes away and I buzzed it home. I was white knuckling it on the steering wheel and running through every stop sign. Luckily, I made it just before the hot lava hit my underwear because there was no way of holding that flood gate back. I was maxed out on my butthole control lives

DB- All I am gonna say is really bad food poisoning on our camping trip

            JC-Not to say too much…. But I’ve heard your stories lol!!

                        DB-This was last year and was literally the WORST food poisoning I had ever had (thanks honey)  But I’m pretty sure you’re referring to running mishap- I apparently shit my pants a lot LOL

BD- Early 2000’s. Genos sports bar. Beer and hot wings. Very loud. Thought I could sneak out a fart. Miscalculated greatly. Watched the rest of the game commando. Underwear didn’t make the trip home.

MC- Many turtle heads and touching cloth stories, but never sharded stories. Not since I was in diapers.

AD- Anonymous

            Anonymous- OK these comments are totally worth the shameful tag

AD- When I was about 7, I was staying in the guest room at my grandma’s house. I wasn’t feeling very well. Well at some point during the night I shit the bed. I took a shower, then went to sleep on the couch. You think that would have been the end of this story. You would be wrong. I shit myself again, another shower and finally it was over.

            AD- Second story. I was at Bills Drugs, now CVS, with my mom. I don’t remember what I was looking at, what I do remember is I trusted a fart I shouldn’t have.

AD- There have also been multiple times where I’ve imitated Cheech in “Up in Smoke,” where after he eats the burrito he keeps saying “Butt cheeks just stay together.” That’s my chant while I’m trying to make it to the bathroom. This is what happens when you have GI issues. LOL

            DB- trust me, I’m there with you!

            AD- At least we can laugh about it

BD- Shit happens

            BH- in deed

ND- Diarrhea waits for no one!

GG- I’ve done it on a job site. And as I was trying to wipe my pants off in the porta potty to make things worse the flies came in to check it out. To my dismay the shit wasn’t gonna come off well, and I was being bombarded by flies…. So, I had to go home rather than stink all day.

Hopefully you got a good laugh from this blog and feel free to add your story to this post.

Dad’s Impromptu Nurse

amyd2414

Honestly, I should have posted this a few years ago, but time has a funny way of getting away from you.

At the end of September 2021, my dad had to go to the hospital, his blood sugar was around 850. He had not been taking his diabetes medication, we found out later he was suffering from an early onset of dementia. As a family we decided we were going to find a care facility that would help him with his medications, but also had a social aspect to get him out of bed, meeting new people. A week later though, those plans changed dramatically. Dad had to go to the hospital again because he was having trouble breathing. He had to have his lungs drained, as they were filling up with fluids. That’s when we found out he had cancer, again.

The decision was made that I would be the one to care for dad, as it was easier for me to take time from work, and he moved into our spare bedroom. At first, we were not sure where the cancer had started. He had cancer in his lungs, liver, pancreas, and spine. We were pretty sure it was his pancreas, as he was a 20-year pancreatic cancer survivor, but there was lots of testing to be done. I started making and taking him to all of his appointments, I was his driver now.

The first thing they did was place a drain in his lung so he did not have to go to the hospital and had a thoracentesis done each time his lung filled with fluid. At first the home nurses came to the house to drain his lung for him. After about a week or so of them coming every other day, I was taught how to drain his lung, so they didn’t need to come as often. So that is what I did, I learned to drain his lung. I became so good at doing it, he would only let me do it, even when the nurses came to check on him. During one of his visits to the emergency room, I had to train some of the ER nurses on how to operate the specific equipment he was using since they were unfamiliar with it.  

All of this was happening during the second year of Covid. This was a rough time, having to decide who could come visit him, if masks needed to be worn, can he go out on small day trips (he was on oxygen by this time), so many decisions. I was stressed and worn out, living on coffee and stress. I am grateful for my husband; he was my saving grace. He would stay up late with dad so I could sleep, and boy did I need sleep.

Dad, I am honored to have been able to care for you during your final months.

Time Gets Away

amyd2414

Time sure does have a way of getting away from you. One minute you’re planning on blogging weekly, the next thing you know three years have passed. Man, has a lot happened in those three years.

In my New Year’s Resolution post, I had hoped to spend more time with my family doing things and making memories.  Well, that did happen. The summer of 2023 my husband, daughter and her best friend went on a road trip. We did about 2600 miles in six days. It was awesome. We drove on the Extraterrestrial Hwy and Route 66, stopped at the Little A’Le’Inn and drove past Area 51. We did a small hike in Zion and saw the Grande Canyon. We packed a lot in those six days.

In May of 2024, we did get to go to Hawaii to see my niece graduate from college. My husband, daughter and her best friend spent a wonderful seven days on the Big Island in Kona. Hanging out with my sister and nieces. It was amazing. Next time my son will go with us.

December 2024, my husband, son, daughter and son’s girlfriend spent New Year’s Eve and Day in Disneyland. It was like being a little kid again. We hadn’t been to Disneyland since the kids were very small. My son’s girlfriend had never been, so it was exciting showing her everything Disney. We had churros, Dole Whips, and other yummy Disney foods.

February of 2025, I turned 50, 50! How is that even possible?? I mean I know that it is possible, but how did this happen so quickly? Here is to the next 50!

March of 2025, my daughter and I went with 19 other 7th and 8th graders plus chaperons to Washington DC and New York. It was an amazing trip. We went to Colonial Williamsburg, Mount Vernon, the Capitol Building, and the White House. We went to the Smithsonian Natural and American History. We went the Veit Nam, World War 2, and Korean War Memorials. We went to the Lincoln Monument, US Marine Corps War Memorial and the FDR Memorial. We went to the top of the Empire State Building and saw the Statue of Liberty (unfortunately from a distance). The most memorable thing we saw was the 911 Memorial. I think that had the most effect on me. I remember going inside and as soon as our guide started talking to our students, I started crying. One of the 7th graders asked me if I was ok. I said I was, I was just remembering what happened that day 24 years ago. It was just like it was yesterday.

Over these last three years, I have seen and done a lot of things. Over these last three years I was able to go to 9 different states and our country’s capital. I made memories and had the time of my life. Now I just need to get my passport so I can see other parts of our world.

Let’s live life to the fullest and keep making those memories!